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If you can’t beat them, join them

So I kind of love the World Cup, partly because it’s guaranteed to make a nation of men cry baby tears when England inevitably fail to reach the semi-finals despite the News of the World crowing on about the fact that they’re definitely going to win this time and they have to return to the glory days of 1966 because otherwise rainbows will die.

But I also love it because, and I’m going to have to make a shameful confession here, although I possess that chronic illness known as football obsession (yes, even the stats), I also love football culture. I love WAGs. I love that massive gangle Peter Crouch and his beautiful lady Abbey Clancy and the fact that they have, somewhat remarkably, lasted (TRUE LOVE). I love the wedges and maxi dresses. I love footballers in their civvies and their attempts to express themselves through awful denim last seen in Diesel in 2001. I love their hairbands. I love them when they’re pissed and for reminding me that China White still exists. I love that when Nicky Bendtner got thrown out of Boujis he covered up his face BUT DIDN’T PULL HIS TROUSERS UP. I love Jose Mourinho because he is a total silver fox even though he is really short.

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Yes, Jose, short. But you’re still a silver fox.

Definitely not short are the Danish team, who I also love because aside from the amusement provided by no-pants Nicky B, Daniel Agger is one hot piece. Unfortunately a recently married hot piece, but that needn’t affect my appreciation for his freckles, numerous (crap) tattoos and commitment to base layers. Okay I just googled ‘Daniel Agger freckles’ (don’t judge, okay?) and made a face at my computer a bit like Jose’s in the picture above because there is slash fan fiction involving him and Torres. (Sample sentence: ‘Fernando wouldn’t even admit it to himself, but when he saw the almost shy smile on Dan’s usually so tough face, the butterflies in his stomach started swirling like they were on crack.’) I’m a little bit wowed by the imagery of crackhead butterflies, but I think even for a freckle fanatic like me this is a step in thousand league boots too far.

Right, I’m off to drink some prosecco, do my nails and re-read the entire archive of Kickette, and then I’m going to input all the Denmark games into my BlackBerry calendar and take a moment to wonder at the miracle of Xabi Alonso’s mere existence (and his ginger beard). And if I still haven’t convinced you to embrace the sport in all its ample-thighed glory, maybe this picture of Crouchy wearing a penguin costume will.

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Posted 30 May 2010 † gremlin § boys ‡ Comments (105) ° Tagged: ,

BANK

Dear beloved one in Christ,

I knew that this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I came across your email contact from my personal search and I instructed the doctor here in this hospital to help me email you and I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before I will die.

I am Mrs Ruth Hull from Malaysia, I am 68 years old, I am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, and my doctor have courageously advised me that I may not live beyond the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has reached a critical extent, of which I am having difficulties unable to move my entire body. I was brought up in a motherless babies home, and was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child.

My husband  and I are true Christians, we lived all day in Colorado, U.S.A, since he was working here as a contractor, but quite  unfortunately,he died in a fatal motor accident.Since his death I decided not to re-marry and because of my bad state of health,I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of ($25.8 Million United States Dollars) with a bank in  Malaysia.

Presently, this money is still in the BANK, and the management of the BANK just wrote a letter to me as the rightful Legitimate beneficiary to come forward to receive the money after keeping it for so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over as a result of my present cancer illness situation, or they get it confiscated. Presently, I’m with my laptop computer in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctor have told me that I have only a few months to live.

It is my last wish to see that this money is invested in any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor and the motherless baby’s home where I come from in Malaysia. I want your good humanitarian,to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows around.

I must let you know  that this was a very hard decision, but I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I have no further option. I hope you will help see my last wishes come to come true.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of my lawyer to work and source for the required necessary and legal paper to proof you as the accredited person I sent to receive the fund presently at the Bank in Malaysia. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the bank, which will prove that you are the rightful beneficiary of my funds. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hope to hear from you soonest.

I await your immediate and urgent response on this my beloved.

On My Email:   ruthhull4christ@gmail.com

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. Ruth Hull
I found this in my spam box. I shall be contacting her post haste.

Posted 18 May 2010 † Silver § WTF? ‡ Comments (138) °

All hail baby … squid Jesus?

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More nativity scenes to make Baby Jesus cry.

Posted 23 December 2009 † gremlin § WTF? ‡ Comments (52) ° Tagged:

‘Tis the season to be merry. Very merry

Posted 23 December 2009 † gremlin § drink ‡ Comments (52) °

Sjalalalalala gefðu í

In our kitchen we have a tape player. In our house we only have one tape – the soundtrack to The Little Mermaid. On a not entirely unrelated note, fandubs of Disney songs are a resource of amazingness I wasn’t previously aware of. That’s all changed now, though, and I have spent the past while enjoying various translations of ‘Kiss the Girl’ in one browser window, while doing some research on the Austrian hotness that is Christoph Waltz in the other. Disney and Nazis. Nice.

It’s hard to pick a favourite but how can you fail to be charmed by a Icelandic man singing as a crab singing in a reggae style?

I thought I would never watch Inglourious Basterds because of the extra ‘u’ and Brad Pitt’s bizarre overacting in the trailer (like I am determined never to watch Sweeney Todd. Sometimes I feel like the only girl in the world who neither finds Johnny Depp attractive nor a particularly amazing actor), but then I realised that he’s not in it much and instead there are lots of attractive German men in it (Michael Fassbender is half German, also counts). So now I’m watching it with a hangover and will rate it solely on the mens. Currently considering watching it on mute.

Posted 13 December 2009 † gremlin § film § music ‡ Comments (2) ° Tagged: ,

Want Lego Tom Riddle please

Posted 10 December 2009 † gremlin § geek ‡ Comments (134) ° Tagged:

Vintage unf

Courtesy of Jean-Pierre Leaud, his cigarettes and his shifty-eyed beaky-nosed visage.

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Never indulge any curiosity you might have about what he looks like now. Believe me, it’s better this way. Much, much better.

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Posted 08 December 2009 † gremlin § boys § film ‡ Comments (109) ° Tagged: ,

Kurt, the exception to the rule

I finally washed my Luella Kurt cardigan for the first time since I bought it, which has to be over a year ago. I know, I know, I am disgusting. And I know this because it took three (hand) washes to get clean. It also took three (hand) washes for me to realise why it says ‘dry clean only’ on the tag. BECAUSE IT WAS FADING FROM BLACK TO GREY. Now I don’t even know if it was dirty or if the greyish water seeping from Kurt the first, second and third time I soaked and rinsed it was actually its colour abandoning me.

So yes. Luella cardigans are the exception to the rule. Normally most overpriced knitwear can be handwashed even though it says ‘dry clean only’. Kurt, I wish I’d listened. I’m sorry.

I also managed to burn off half my face with an old facepack which I realise now, in retrospect, was 99% acid. I’ve got a red ring around my face, like someone placed a huge mug full of steaming hot coffee on it. For some reason my inner face survived the acid attack. Huh.

EPIC FAIL.

Although there is a lesson to be learnt here: do not clean or clear (which is how I found that stupid sulphuric facepack in the first place). EVER.

Posted 26 November 2009 † Silver § WTF? ‡ Comments (0) °

Once upon a time there was Kenzo, a lovely schnoz and a winter palette

Love

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this

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editorial.

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Perfect

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autumn/winter

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transition/feeling.

Posted 25 November 2009 † gremlin § fashion ‡ Comments (61) ° Tagged:

do shoot.

Ages ago when I was young and hopeful, I worked in music event organising and journalism – interviewing bands on and off camera (mostly for the free drinks and boys). During which, through my sort-of-boss/drinking partner, I met Brett Jefferson Scott who organised interactive photo treasure hunts through the streets of London. (I met him when I helped organise a club night at Cargo to celebrate the end of one of his treasure hunt events – just for clarity of understanding). I haven’t seem or heard of him in years but I’ve recently learnt that he’s still doing his thing!

His brainchild had grown from ‘Shoot Shoreditch’ (obviously this is where something like this would be born) to ‘Shoot London’ (natural progression) and is now ‘Shoot experience‘ (I do like the new double meaning).

The event basically encourages people to run around a certain area (or city) finding objects, getting drunk, having fun and unleashing their inner Mario Testino to create beautiful and interesting photographs with the stuff they find. Also, if your photos are really good or something you can win stuff! SPRING BREAK!!!

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Posted 24 November 2009 † Silver § art ‡ Comments (100) ° Tagged:

Jessica Fletcher, style icon

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Posted 19 November 2009 † Silver § fashion § television ‡ Comments (0) °

Well hello there

I see your cheeky bow tie, Paul.

Posted 19 November 2009 † gremlin § boys § film ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged:

Now who can tell me what the maypole represents?

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In the woods there grew a tree. And a fine, fine tree was he.

Posted 18 November 2009 † gremlin § film ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged:

albaz, i love you

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I’ve been absolutely loving nude-on-white for sometime now. But Lanvin does it so perfectly, I feel humbled. Also I want the every, single last one of the necklaces from this collection. Alber truly understands me like no other.

Posted 10 November 2009 † Silver § fashion ‡ Comments (0) °

Wardrobe mugshots – halloween

Gremlin

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Plastic cups and Strongbow. Terrifying.

Posted 08 November 2009 † Silver § Wardrobe Mugshots ‡ Comments (0) °