I lasted 52 seconds. How long can you stand her?
ps. this is categorised under ‘drink’ because it makes me want to.
pps. i lasted 52 seconds because that is the point at which she gives up her home address. Now I’m saving up for my ‘tell peaches what you think of her New York spring break [...]
that the new sexed up Alpen adverts are disconcerting.
FACT: Alpen is what people eat to keep their bowel movement regular.
No number of semi-naked men or women can make that fact sexy. Epic fail Alpen. Epic.
I really do love culinary shows, particularly ones with a game-show element. I love Masterchef. I love Ready Steady Cook. And I especially love Come Dine With Me (in spite – or perhaps because – of it’s inane repetitive nature and that irritating voice over man who makes everyone seem like a complete twat).
At [...]
Apparently I answered 10 our of 24 questions correctly (that’s 42% for those of you lacking a maths gcse or the equivalent qualification). That’s almost half the questions. WOW! Honestly, I did not expect to know nearly that much. I think my BA in Politics has finally paid off. Totally worth 3 years at university [...]
What’s that? I hear you ask.
It’s a hen enjoying her last single night ever, obviously. Via the age old medium of zorbing (I can’t bring myself to capitalize that, although apparently I can bring myself to spell American) Hmmm, where was I?
Yes, ok! It’s my friend’s hen this weekend and I’m sortof planning it. And [...]
I would totally rock these.
If my dog ever gets a girldogfriend and it is her birthday or valentines day or even just a casual park-date day and he needs to buy her a wonderful dog gift, I will swiftly direct him to HauteDiggityDog. Where he could buy her…
a nice bag
or a bottle of perfume
or some cute heels
And I needn’t [...]
Then
And now…
Look, basically I can’t find a suitable picture on google. Stupid google. So close your eyes for a second or two and just remember what everyone looked like last time you got yourself down to a British beach. Fat, pale and far too naked. Right? Right? Yep ok.
SO I absolutely adore the British Library. [...]
PC has stolen my heart
I’m so sorry CB! Take solace in the knowledge that once you were loved.
How did you know I mostly like jewelry that can also be used to self harm?
SPARKLY AND DANGEROUS.
The collection is called Shattered Glass and it was designed by Australian Manik Mercian, in case you’re wondering who to hold responsible if any of the fashion lot ‘accidently’ slit their wrists.
I’m in the French Riviera, surrounded by sea and sun and super tanned old ladies. And my taste in fashion has changed accordingly and quite dramatically. This happens when I change surroundings, on account of me being half chameleon. So, now I suddenly NEED a pair of white jeans. In fact I just need anything [...]
Um, by any chance are you a student?
What a wonderful way to enlighten the public on the correct and appropriate protocol for this pandemic.
Thank you Aron & Jay, nothing says global health issue like skank.
WARNING, this is ever so slightly fucking disgusting…
Step 1: Lube up some pvc pipe
‘Note, this could be dangerous, proceed with caution: Take a piece of pvc pipe insulation and cut it the right length to fit your dick. It should be tight so no air will leak out.’
Step 2: Pump and suck
‘Start pumping your dick [...]
My dog, on the other hand, is racist. Yes, racist.